kenapa perlu hatiku terusik oleh kenangan silam?

disclaimer: again this is bout what my whinnings..dont bother to read it...sorry this week is an emotional week for me..


sbb terlampau bosan, saya telah menggoogle nama someone...an old friend of mine that i've lost contact..tapi tak ketemuan..wondering how many kids does he has now? ntahla..dia ingat lagi kat aku ke tak kan..email dia pun dah tak pakai dah...adoi..
pastu gatai tangan nak google nama nick aku masa zmn IRC tue...
and guess what i've found...a special entry dedicated for me by my ex!
wpun entry tue dah delete, tapi bleh tgk cached version (itula aku nih bijok sikit bab2 internet gini jadinya)


so the mother knew bout this..and asking him to forgive me....
for him, aku telah menipu dia...
lantakla dia nak pikir apa....mmg yer kot apa dia ckp tue...i've cheated his feeling...ntahla...aku yg jahat kot sebenarnya, sbb aku yg mintak perpisahan itu di kala dia sedang berada di ambang peperiksaan and presenting final yr project....
ada hikmahnya aku tak add him inside my FB...else lagi sakit hati...ntahla blog nih dia bleh dpt ke tak sbb i din use my real name...dulu dia pernah ckp dia tulis blog...aku tny apa dia kata pandai2 aku cari sendiri..aku mls nak layan time tue..haa skrg amik ko..bila baca berapi2 gak biarpun entry lama.


i wanna cried but there are no tears for it!
ntahla....i hope he will find a better person than me to be his wife.
kalau bleh aku tanak tau apa2 pasal dia dah...seriously it hurts me badly!
aritu ck ada chat dgn dia, terus aku bgtau ck dont tell anything bout me and i dont want to know anything bout him...biarla aku tau dia dah grad..that's it. aku tak rasa bersalah sgt..the rest pepandai dia la nak hidup kan..


huh...it's been 5 months we've broken up...how long the wound will be healed?